Most managers hold one-on-ones every week, yet very few use them well. A one-on-one meeting is one of the most powerful tools a manager has, and also one of the most wasted. Done right, it builds trust, surfaces problems early, and helps people grow. Done poorly, it turns into a status update that neither side looks forward to.

1. Get clear on what a one-on-one is actually for

Many managers treat one-on-ones as a way to track task progress. That’s not their real purpose, task updates can happen anywhere. A one-on-one exists to create space for the conversations that don’t fit into daily work: how someone is really doing, what’s slowing them down, and where they want to grow.

• Separate project updates from one-on-ones wherever possible
• Use the time to understand context, not just check task status
• Remind yourself before each session: this time belongs to them, not to you

2. Come prepared, but let them lead

A good one-on-one has just enough structure to stay useful, without becoming rigid. Managers who show up with zero preparation tend to drift into small talk or generic updates. Managers who over-script it end up talking more than listening. The balance is preparation on your side, ownership on theirs.

• Keep a running list of topics between sessions instead of thinking of them last minute
• Open with a simple question like “what’s on your mind this week?” before jumping to your list
• Let their priorities shape most of the conversation, not just yours

Research from Harvard Business Review backs this up directly. Studies on one-on-ones found that having an agenda predicts how effective a meeting will be, but what matters even more is who builds it: meetings were rated far more useful when the employee helped create or shape the agenda themselves, rather than the manager setting it alone. The same research found that the strongest sign of a good one-on-one is simply how much the employee talks, with the ideal falling somewhere between 50 and 90 percent of the conversation.

3. Ask questions that go beneath the surface

“How’s it going?” rarely gets an honest answer. Better one-on-ones use questions that invite people to say more than “fine.” The goal isn’t to interrogate, it’s to understand what’s really happening beneath the task list.

• Ask about a specific piece of work rather than work in general
• Follow a general answer with one more question before moving on
• Notice what isn’t being said as much as what is

4. Make space for feedback in both directions

One-on-ones work best when feedback flows both ways. Many managers use the time only to give feedback, missing the chance to hear how their own approach is landing. Asking for feedback regularly, even briefly, builds a habit of honesty that pays off over time.

• Share specific, timely feedback rather than saving it up for a review
• Ask a simple question like “is there anything I could be doing differently?”
• Treat their answer as information, not something to defend against

5. Follow through on what gets said

Nothing damages trust in a one-on-one faster than raising something once and never mentioning it again. If someone shares a concern or an idea, bringing it up in the next session shows they were actually heard. This single habit does more for trust than almost anything else in the conversation.

• Keep brief notes so nothing important gets forgotten between sessions
• Open a session by checking in on something raised last time
• If something can’t be actioned, say so honestly rather than letting it disappear quietly

6. Protect the rhythm, even when things get busy

One-on-ones are often the first thing to get cancelled when a manager’s calendar fills up. This sends an unintended message about priority. Protecting this time, even in a shorter form, keeps the relationship steady exactly when people need it most.

• Keep the same time slot each week so it becomes a reliable rhythm
• If a full session isn’t possible, shorten it rather than skip it
• Treat repeated cancellations as a signal worth noticing, not just a scheduling issue

Harvard Business Review research on one-on-ones warns specifically against cancelling them. Managers who skip these meetings too often, or run them poorly, risk leaving their team members disconnected, both in their day-to-day work and emotionally from the team. Rescheduling rather than cancelling protects the sense that this time genuinely matters.

Reflective Checklist

• Are your one-on-ones a real conversation, or a status update?
• Do you ask questions that go beyond “how’s it going?”
• Is feedback flowing in both directions, or only one?
• Do you follow up on what was said in the last session?
• Are one-on-ones the first thing to get cancelled when things get busy?

A one-on-one doesn’t need to be long or elaborate to be effective. It needs consistency, genuine listening, and follow-through. Managers who get this right build stronger, more trusting relationships with their teams, one conversation at a time. 

If you would like to support building stronger one-on-one meetings practices across your management team, write to us at [email protected] and let’s start the conversation.

Source: Rogelberg, S. G. (2022). Make the Most of Your One-on-One Meetings. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2022/11/make-the-most-of-your-one-on-one-meetings